Relationship - Not Religion

Have you ever been so busy that you neglected to spend time with a close friend? Have you ever missed them?

Have you ever felt this way about God?

I recently had a baby. Not only did I have a baby but we also go custody of my step-son. I went from having all of the time in the world to being a full time working wife and mother of two. And I can honestly say that I miss the quality time that I used to get to spend with God. I miss him so much that it hurts. It's like losing touch with a close friend or moving far away from your family. I used to take for granted the extra time that I had in my life to spend with him. Now I don't. Because now, somewhere in between working 9 hours a day, driving to school, driving to the babysitters, hauling to sports practices and birthday parties, changing diapers, making bottles, making baby food, cooking diner, cleaning, doing laundry and getting everyone in bed in time for the next day, I have to now find time to squeeze in God. And that sounds horrible, but it's true. And I'm sure it is not just true for me- but for most mothers. I have went to sleep and cried because I just miss God.
Now I know he is still with me. I still pray and worship on my way to work. But I don't get to just sit down, when I want and where i want and spend time with him. It is amazing to me how I used to take that time for granted. Like I had the rest of my life to spend with him... now I wish I just had 30 minutes- alone- with silence and stillness.

However, through this I have realized that I desperately NEED God in my life. The fact that I miss him so much that I cry at night is astounding to me! It shows me how much my relationship wit God has improved over the last few years. Looking back there were many times where I drifted far from him. Times when I didn't pray as much, worship as much or read as much... and honestly, It didn't bother me. The fact that it does now shows me that my relationship with God has come a long way.

God I pray today that I take every opportunity, with every free second I am given, to talk with you, meditate on you and dwell in your presence. I pray that over this week I am given free moments to learn about you and spend time in your Word. I miss you God, and I thank you that we are close enough that I feel empty when you are far from me. Thank you for everything you have done, and will continue to do in my life. Amen

And the baby is now awake... good timing!